Dear Father Christmas
I know I’ve not been a very good boy this year, and I’m really sorry about being driven by near-starvation to steal those essential food items from TESCO. Still, I hope you can find it in your big, red, bearded heart to forgive me and grant me my christmas list, as follows:
1. A roof and four walls in which we can sleep safely;
2. Work that pays the bills and doesn’t make mum and dad too ill;
3. Food to eat so we don’t starve;
4. A fit-for-purpose fire service so we don’t die;
5. A health service, so when we get ill we can usually get better;
6. Benefits, in case 2 doesn’t happen;
7. Massively reduced carbon emissions;
8. Somewhere for old people to go – they don’t seem to like the streets much, despite the global warming;
9. A great big boat, in case 7 doesn’t happen;
10. Star Wars: the Force Awakens special edition on super 3D interactive immersive holo-cube – gotta love the classics!
Sorry, I know it’s a lot to ask. If it comes to it, I’ll probably settle for 10.
Yours sincerely and Merry Christmas,
Most children in the UK
24th December 2025.
P.S. surely Donald Trump’s second term should be up about now? If not, could you maybe do something about that too please? I’m not much into sequels, and from what (despite the shortcomings of our collapsing education system and the closure of all the public libraries) I’ve gleaned from history, this whole ‘World War’ thing was wearing thin in 1940, and even JJ Abrams couldn’t save the franchise now…
Dear Father Christmas…